Why Mercenaries drink coffee An FFVII story
by xBlackTaintedHeartx
Summary: The aspects of Cafes, The thousands of Different teas, asking if you want milk and be called racist and when you dont pay attention. In the end, can seriously afect your health. A very funny story about the dramas of cafe work. Enjoy
1. Chapter 1: Why mercenaries drink coffee

Mercenaries and Cafe's dont mix.

Or why Mercenaries drink Coffee

By XxLady RavenwingsxX

The city of Edge was filled with the sound of people buying goods from the markets and stores as the day was just beginning. Out the

front of a local cafe sat a boy withblonde spikey hair and a girl with short brown hair and was wearing an bandana in her hair.

"So Cloud, you never told me the story about when you worked in the cafe inNibelheim" she asked as she placed her white cup of

coffee back onto the table. He placed his cup down and looked away from her with his eyes shut. "Im telling you nothing about my

glory days of working in the cafe, besides its embarassing." he told her, trying not to look at her. "Oh come on Cloudy poo, you can

tell me." she wined as sheproceeded to kick him in the knee caps underneath the table.

"Im telling you...ouch...once more...stop that...i'm telling you nothing...and that is really annoying." he saidglaring at her and trying to

catch her ankle from under the table, while trying not to knock the two coffee cups over onto the ground.

"YO FOOL!!! WHATS GOING ON NIGGERS!!!!" a familiar voice said from behind Cloud.

"Hey Barret, and stop being racist...Cloud wont tell me the story about when he worked in the cafe, I wanna hear it."Yuffie said

punching Barrett hard in the arm.

"Ouch!!! Yeah Cloud, why dont you tell us your wonderful story about when you went nuts and had to spend 5 years in a mental

home, and it wasnt because you lost your memories either...It was because of the..."Barret said with a grin on his face as he proceeded

to rub his arm, where Yuffie had punched him." DONT GO THERE MAN!!!" Cloud said suddenly spinning around in his chair and

threathened to stab him with his spoon. "Ok Ok, take a chill pill, i wont tell her." he replied, rubbing his forehead, at the thought of

being stabbed with a spoon. "Tell me what." Yuffie asked looking at Barret and then at Cloud. "Forget it,

its nothing." Cloud said taking his cup and taking a mouthful of coffee. "What is nothing?" A familiar voice said behind Yuffie. "Oh hi

Tifa, Cloud wont tell us the story about working in the cafe many years ago." Yuffie told her with large puppy dog eyes.

"Look lay off Yuffie, and where in Gaia, did you two pop up from?" Cloud wondered looking at Barret and Tifa.

"We are magical fairies and we are all around you." Barret said in a somewhat kiddish and scary voice. "RIGGGHHHHTTT!!!! And

im a giant Fluffy pink cloud and rain pink chocobos on everyone and make everyone happy." Cloud replied sarcastically. Tifa slapped

him around the back of the head and glared daggers at Cloud.

"Owwww...Ok Ok, ill tell you, but i swear, if i hear anyone laugh at me, ill stab you's with my spoon." Cloud said as he dragged his

spoon closer to himself and looked at Barrett, who knew that he would, although a spoon isnt sharp enough to stabb anyone.

It happened...6 years ago...


	2. Chapter 2: The Lovely Apron

Mercenaries and Cafe's dont mix.

Or why Mercenaries drink Coffee

By XxLady RavenwingsxX

Part 2: The lovely Apron

Note: Clouds story will be in Italics so theres no confusions.

Enjoy

_The sun shined high in the sky as Nibelheim was getting ready for their busiest day. Outside a cafe which had a very cute __looking yellow Chocobo painted on the window, _

_holding a tray of coffee cups on the end of its wing and had bright eyes that looked larger than its body, a boy with blonde __hair placed a sign out near the lamp post out the __front of the cafe. On the sign it had written in large red, pink and yellow _

_writing. _

_**"COME IN FOR OUR DELICIOUS **__**COFFEES, CAKES AND THE MOST DELICIOUS TEA. **__**BUY ONE TEA AND GET FIVE FOR FREE!!!...**_

"BUY ONE TEA AND GET FIVE FREE!!!! Hahahaha now thats the funniest thing ive ever heard. Thats even more funny than the time Vincent slipped over in the shower." Yuffie said, trying her hardest not to fall of the chair from laughing. Cloud was ready to stab

her in the chest, after all, he did warn them that if they did laugh then he would have no option but to stab them with his spoon. Yuffie suddenly realised and calmed herself down.

Okay back to the story...

_Cloud had just finished putting out the hilarious sign and headed back inside to wait for his first customer for the day. He was __wearing a lovely pink apron with white frilly __edging and cute yellow chocobos on the front. He waited paitently behind the _

_counter, sitting on his stool he stared out the shop window, as passers by were looking at the __sign, and then at the chocobo, and suddenly falling to the groung in laughter..."Damn sign writer, ill kick his butt, the next _

_time i see him." Cloud said to himself as he felt __a sudden nerve pulsate in his head. Cloud waited...and waited...and __waited...and waited...He could honestly see the spider webs gathering on the empty chairs and __tables. He rested his head in _

_his right hand and his left fingers were tapping on the glass. "Geeze, where is everyone, feels like 12 pm already and not a __single customer all __day." _

_he said outloud. He looked at his wrist watch and suddenly his jaw dropped to the ground. "ITS ONLY 9:30 AM!!!!!!! WHERE __IS EVERYONE?!?!?!" Cloud yelled __outloud. His head hit the counter hard as he tried to knock himself out from boredom._

Everyone was trying to keep their laughter in as everyone had tears flowing from their eyes at the thought of Cloud wearing an Apron. Cloud cleared his throat as he continued to tell the story...

So...

_Cloud fell asleep on the counter, drool flowed from the corner of his mouth and was snoring very loudly...Suddenly...__"DING- __A - LING - A - LING - A - LING!!!!" The little bell at the __top of the cafe door ran as someone walked in from outside. _

_"Ahem!!" The customer said clearing his throat. "SNOOOREEEEE!!!!" Cloud continued to sleep, oblivious to __the fact that his __first customer ever had walked in..._

_"AHEEEMMMM!!!" the customer cleared his throat, this time louder. Again...__"SNNNOORRREEEE!!!" Cloud again __continued to sleep. The custome had just about had enough being ignored, and decided _

_to take matters into his own hands. The customer grabbed a teaspoon from the __basket next to Cloud and began poking him in to nose. "oy, sleepy head, wake up." the customer said as he continued to poke _

_Cloud in the nose. "Huh...wha?" Cloud __said as the sleep bubble over his head burst. "OY FOOL WAKE UP!!!! YOU are __suppose to be workin, not sleeping.__" _

_Barret __said as he dropped the spoon. "Oh its only __you Barret...What do you want...Im busy working..." Cloud said rubbing __his eyes. _

_"Im here for some light refreshments.." Barret said smiling and placing his hands on his __hips in an Heroic stance. Cloud looked at him blankly. _

_"You know...light refreshemnts...best time of the day to have them..." Barret said again, trying to make it clear _

_to him. Once again, Cloud looked at him blankly. "You know, little pinky in the air refreshments, gossip to your girlfriends about your boyfriends refreshments." Barret said _

_once more, trying to put it into his head. Again Cloud looked at him blankly, this time the sound of crickets could be heard. They looked around the room to find the _

_source of noise. "(Sigh) Im here for some tea." Barret said looking at the floor. "OH...You want tea, why didnt you say so in the first place. Please take a seat and ill be _

_right with you in a second." Cloud said as it FINALLY clicked in his brain. Barret sighed once again and headed to a seat that had a strange painting of two chocobo's _

_sitting at a table drinking tea. He was just starting to feel a little uneasy, and a little bit worried fearful of his own life when he looked away from the painting. The table _

_where Barret was sitting at was lined with a rose pink tablecloth and in a vase in the middle of the table sat white and pink artifical flowers. Barret began to poke at the _

_flowers although he didnt know why, but he had a sudden urge to poke at them. "here you are sir, heres the menu." Cloud said with a smile on his face as he handed _

_Barret a menu. "Thanks" Barret said as Cloud was holding an note pad and a pen ready to take his order. Suddenly Barret looked at Clouds Apron. _

_"Aww...the muscular __heroic Mercenary is wearing a very cute apron. Nice colour choice man, really suites your eyes." Barret joked as Cloud was going red in the face. "Hey dont make fun of my _

_apron, it was my mothers, so have some respect." Cloud replied. "Besides, you arent as brave and heroic as i am. Only a REAL Man would be brave enough to wear this _

_and not show his weakness." Cloud said with an evil smile on his face. "WHAT!!! Ill show you, you nigger." Barret said as he slammed the menu down on the table and ran _

_out the back room. "Hey hey hey employees only!!!" Cloud called out as Barret disappeared into the backroom, to grab an apron. He came back out a few minutes wearing _

_a bright yellow apron with white frilling around the edges and on the front were several white, pink and blue Moogles. Cloud couldnt hold his laughter in as Barret ran out the _

_cafe door and began strutting his stuff in front of everyone on the street, showing off his apron and repeating the phrase "LOOK AT ME...IM SO PRETTY...I AINT AFRAID _

_TO WEAR AN APRON...IM A REAL MAN!!!!" Cloud turned around and placed his hands on his knees and began to laugh. Suddenly Barret came in red in the face like a _

_tomato. "So what happened out there?" Cloud asked holding his chest as he stopped laughing. "I got asked out by a guy. I go out on a date next friday night and theres _

_something else you should know fool" Barret said taking the apron off. "What?" Cloud asked as he took the apron. "He wants me to wear the apron on our date." He _

_replied sitting down. Cloud suddely fell to the ground as he rolled around the floor laughing._

"You got asked out by a guy?!?! And why havent we been introduced to your new date?" Tifa said laughing. Suddenly Tifa felt the ground as Barret knocked her out with a

sleep Materia. "Can it sister!" Barret said going red in the face. "Although it was a very funny day barret." Cloud said, thinking about that day. "Dont start with me, or you

know what will happen." Barret replied with an evil look on his face. Cloud shut up about the apron incident and continued with his story.

So...

_After the apron incident, Cloud took Barrets order and proceeded to make his order. "It will be ready for you soon. Now i hope this time you will pay me instead of "I.O.U's" _

_Cloud called out from the back room. "Yeah Yeah i will." Barret called out, although he would be paying Cloud in Once again "I.O.U's" "OMG!!!" Cloud suddenly yelled out. _

_"What?" Barret shouted back. "So...Many...TEAS!!!!" Cloud replied as he gazed at the 1000's of teas on the cupboard._


End file.
